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Monday, 3 October 2011

Excuse Me Miss….(2)

O.k I agree, guys suffer while trying to woe a gurl…….but thats because they always relent when she’s finally said yes………true or false?
Yes today the guys would feel they’ve bought me over, cauz I will be revealing somethings that might get me suspended from the sisterhood…..

Guys, you know how when you come to her house, or hall and you send her gateman or tell a friend to help you call her, and you’ve mentally calculated how long it’ll take for her to come down looking all glamorous and ravishing and what not, well…… shouldn’t have, cos she has also calculated how long you have to wait for  her ‘happening’ friends to be home and for them to see and analyze if you are the one (but really, we really have to stop watching all these silly Hollywood movies, that paints the perfect guy as some tall, handsome, well spoken, fine built guy…..cos frankly, he’s already someones guy! Besides a good number of tall Nigerian men are carrying a ‘party pot’ in place of a stomach, and have their English stained with an accent from their native dialect, so wake up sweetie!) and if ‘the friends’ come over and judge against you, sorry boo, no game cos even if you try to form Bobby and Whitney love and wait, you will sleep off in your car, waiting………that’s if you have one……..which might actually have been why you were disqualified!.......Ha, im in serious soup for all these top secrets. But polishing the dull side, while waiting for this, ‘no show’, you can be sampling other gurls, cos, frankly if you are wasting woe energy on a gurl who doesn’t have a mind of her own and whose friends make decisions for her……….goodluck Charlie!

But gurls are not always like that, she might actually like you, as in, she might have actually been giving some emerald, golden green light, some kain confusing signals…….dont worry I understand, sometimes, you just don’t know what we are mean abi, yes, its all part of the plan….we never want to appear available, you think we like how satan used just…….3 sentences in just one appearance to convince Eve …….no way oh, so, don’t worry, just bear with us. When next you go to see her, don’t get all pissed and angry that she took her time, I mean, twas for you u know, I mean, she had to, let me show you......

The moment she was told you were outside, her heart skipped and she suddenly realized she hadn’t had her bath and that she had no clue on what to wear, and when she finally decides on what to wear, her friend comes in and takes the chosen dress cause it was borrowed, (not always the case oh), and then the hunt for a new dress begins again, and in all these panicking, nature knocks, and all that butterfly effect begins to affect her, and she has to use the bathroom for No 2 (im sure you know what that means)………note, she still hasn’t had the bath…… forward 2hours and she emerges looking all ravishing and panash and sweet and……….yes, you forget how long you’ve waited. Fast forward again 6 months in the ‘relationship’ and if she waste as much as 20 mins, she’ll come out to meet nobody!
But wait oh, I’m sure you would have noticed that all the while, ive been using ‘gurl’, now for a woman………mhmmmmn that’s a different ball game oh, women don’t gat no time for no woeing, before you even get there, she’s dressed and ready sitting quietly in her gateman's house (ok, maybe not the gateman, but she'll be ready sha), aint gat no time for no sweet words, when she says yes, brother, she means yessss, and if she says no, ol’boy bera delete from her space.
A woman knows what she wants and knows how to get it, a woman…………….abeg before, I wake up to realize that I’m losing some vital organs for revealing these let me end the keyboard tapping.



1 comment:

  1. useful tips. hilarious tho! No one should dare touch her for helping a brother out *wink*