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Saturday 15 September 2012

'Posting'

No, I'm not talking about the upcoming NYSC postings or whatever in your head, I'm actually talking of 'posting'.

Posting - the act and process (trust me, it's both) of being rejected for employment.
Poster- this is the agency or company for which you seek engagement 
Postee - you, who is being posted.

Ever since my search for a 'something-to-hold-body' kind of job, I've come across different people, situations and of course 'postings', I'm still waiting, hopefully believing what they said, even when I know the implied meanings of their yarns, #sighs.
So, today I'll share my insight on some very common favorites of the 'posters'

'Thank you for your application, we will get back to you'
Translation: kpele dear, we know how much it cost you to pay that guy to arrange your CV, he tried oh, but, he also did the same for one-third of the other applicants.

'Very impressive, we will get back to you'
........note how all the posting lines all end with .....we will get back to you.
Translation : beautiful CV, wonderful cover letter, but, Kai, my oga has already put his niece in that position. Keep hunting, you will survive.

'We are not hiring right now, but I'll keep you in mind'
Do you really need a translation, this is as plain as it gets, even though you know that Usman told you they are hiring and he just got his niece a spot.

All the above are postings on initial application, now these ones are after maybe an interview or two

'We ( I ) would really want to work with you, you are what we are looking for, we would give you a call for the next stage'
Translation : now this is very tricky, fact is they might actually want to have you on board, you might indeed be what they are looking for, buh all that one na tori, get on your lappy and start resending applications because you have just been posted, and on a very long thing. 

'The position has already been filled'
Yes oh, this is a posting line, even after passing the exam and one interview, and I don't think you need a translation for this too but if you insist
Translation : how the hell did you get this far, abeg give us chance, more valuable people are waiting.

Also I noticed that contrary to popular beliefs, there are jobs in Nigeria, there just aren't enough qualified candidates for the job. How can you say you are an accounting grad with the very common 1st class honors and you don't even know where debit side should be in a balance sheet! 

Oh yea, another thing about this job hunting of a thing is networking, though it has carried on various non dignifying names like 'long legs', it is a very important tool, I know some people will start giving me some funny eye gestures, but lemme ask this question

Why would you call getting a job through a friend I met at a conference corruption but call getting the same job through Sister Nkechi in church 'favour'? Answer me oh.

The world is changing dear GNG memoirs readers, please don't get left behind, adapt.

Yours.......soon to be poster 

A.D

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