Corporate'white'lies

I was in a lil dilemma last night and like all dilemmas, you have to know the crux of the matter to understand the seriousness of the situation………

I’m in my 4^th year in an engineering program and the curriculum stipulates that we have to be trained industrially, (I.T) so my search for an internship placement began, and quite frankly, I never knew how frustrating and annoying this line, ‘we’ll get back to you’ was till I started writing internship exams and interviews, (yes oh interview for a 6 months job that I might not be paid for), twas even more painful when I knew I really passed all the hurdles but because of some people doing backyard runs I wasn’t picked.

But you know it’s very funny how when other people use their connections to get to where they want, we label it ‘corruption’ or ‘nepotism’ or ‘tribalism’, but when we use our own connections (even though it’s Sis Chinyere from youth fellowship), we called it ‘favor’

Back to the present, I had already gotten a job at an engineering firm through…………..favor, but I was called for an interview by an oil servicing company, and with the kind of exposure I wanted, that was where I was meant to be.

Now, here’s the dilemma, I needed to come up with a very good lie, simple and believable to tell the boss at engineering firm so I could go for interview at oil servicing coy……….small thing abi……….no.

I’ve already wasted all the good lies on outings with my friends and to catch 20 extra winks (yesso sleep is sweet, don’t look at me like that, at least I sleep on my bed, I know some of you sneak to the store or that empty room and hibernate for the next 10-20mins and come out with your eyes all red and when asked the cause of the redness, you say you mistakenly put your hand in your eye…………talk about white lies, so every day between 10-11am, your hand develops a mind of its own and journeys to your eye)

I’ve used grandma’s burial (actually she really died so couldn’t use it again), good ol’ fever and menstrual cramps (wow this works like magic) and even ridiculous ones like rain or ‘no keke or bus’ (at this point I’m ashamed, chai).

Didn’t want to use fever again and be perceived as a sickler or feeble person and dint want to say appendicitis and mistakenly touch my left side and say it really hurts.

As I was brainstorming with me myself and I, I remembered a program on a radio station that rhymes with bull and the presenter asked callers to call in and say the most ridiculous lies they’ve told to get out of work. Then this man calls and says he had just used one and it worked, he said he had told his boss that he wanted a WEEK off to………wait for it……….wait……HELP HIS WIFE BREASTFEED! And I’m like !@#$^&.........his boss must be 2 years old, cos only someone who hasn’t been weaned will fall for that…..wow, I can imagine he had used all in his little book of lies.

So we (me myself and I), finally decided on saying I had to go to ITF (Industrial Training Fund) office for issues with my logbook, but I actually had issues with my logbook oh…………….yea who am I kidding right. Would love to hear your own ridiculous lies and excuses too.

Yours………….truthfully

A.D