Dozie

No, Dozie is not the name of my latest crush and no, he’s not the name of my dream guy, Dozie (Dozy) is actually a noun (you remember that thing they taught in primary school, name of a person, animal, place or thing) it’s a name given to someone caught in the act of dozing……..mhmmm yea those nasty nods you do in public lecture and some lecturers class and sometimes even in Church (don’t even deny it).

So, I would not say I have never been a Dozy, I’m just not a regular offender…………..I remember my very first dozing……….chai, it was very very embarrassing as per, being a fyn gel n all, I no suppose fall hand and secondly, sitting in front of the lecturer, I suppose maintain to afoid further embarrassment. So I was in the very front row of the teacher…oh ma bad lecturer.  He was teaching those really strange things they teach in engineering math…….oh, I was in 100level, yes, he was teaching a very confusing something, all I saw were Greek letters, like literally Greek letters, all them β µ α Ω £..(oops, my bad), you sha get the drift and then that demonic breeze started blowing, oh, the soothing relief, the peace and tranquility, the way it meanders its way to get to all the sweaty places, the back, armpit (or arm forest) and the……..(what are you thinking now),the hair jore, esp. for the ladies when we make fringed hairstyles, the breeze finds its way to the ogoh, and then everything starts slowing down, the parallel lines in your note suddenly has a converging point and everything is woozy.

And then………….gbaammm, you have nodded all the way to your knees………..mhmmm, the first nods are the farthest and most embarrassing, well, in my case, I didn’t nod nod, like that…………who am I kidding, I nodded heavy, but to the side sha, good thing the lecturer didn’t see me, and my BFFs (Jalabia and 23, those aren’t their real names oh) were by my side and gave me the laughing I needed. Normally, Dozies when caught in the act would laugh it off and try and behave, but in my case………….I was shocked, I mean, I was listening, I knew everything that was going on, I possibly couldn’t have dozed off na, Haba, the last thing the lecturer said was………..was………..errrm……wow, so I was really sleeping. I sha looked around to ensure that my ‘rep’ was still intact and I wouldn’t be used for gist.

Mine was fair believe me, I’ve seen papas and mamas nod their way to clinics, as in, it’s really embarrassing, there was this guy I saw dozing, chai, it was really hooking him, I could see it. It was in Church oh, and I’m so sure this was demonic, like all those movies where demons will come to Church and be konking people and they'll be dozing. So homeboy was trying so hard to stay awake, but his eyelids were heavy, I would catch him literally shaking his head all in a bid to receive at least a Word. But I guess the spirit was wiling but the flesh…….the flesh no gree and so his eyelids locked and abros started. This should be part of the wonders of the world, maybe not the 8^th, but somewhere between the 11^th and 20^th, the amazing thing was that in all his nodding, not once did he hit anything, it was a wonderful scene, twas like he was being controlled from the waist, he would go all the way forward down to his knees and then start rolling side to side like a pendulum! It was an amazing sight.

That one might even be good small, morning devotion is the place!! Don’t even look away, yes you, you have being caught severally. I remember one day we came for devotion and we were all (including moi), nodding shamelessly and singing arrant nonsense. My dad got angry and asked us to all stand up, chai, he shouldn’t have, it was even worse, I never believed I could sleep standing, my lil sis was even worse she was so comfortable sleeping while standing that she dropped her hymn book (as per something left her hand and hit the floor, producing a sound), and babe no even bulge, ma dad saw her and started laughing from anger. Funny enough I remember what was taught that day: God answers prayers, even the most casual of them.

Would love to hear your own dozing experiences, don’t just come here and laugh at mine.lol.

Yours……………wide awake

A.D