Step into my thoughts 2

Yello dear readers, Step into my head is a series of my random thoughts,we had the first one here. I will be pouring them out occasionally and we would also love to hear your own thoughts too.

• What is it that people are always chewing in their sleep? Seriously speaking oh, and I'm not talking about all dem Africa magic, Nollywood  kinda sleep, I'm talking real life sleep, 'on the job' sleep or even the type of sleep we call 'crash'. The other day I happened to be in the room while my sister was sleeping and she was trying to change her position when I noticed her moving her mouth and making noises in the same manner as seen when eating a delicacy and to crown it all, after chewing, my lovely sister swallowed, and I kid you not, she actually swallowed. I had to leave the place cos the laughter that would follow would definitely wake her up. And no one needed to tell me that, that sleep was sweet! 
• TGIS : stop googling it joor, TGIS simply means Thank God It's Sunday. I know some of you are wondering how TGI can ever be followed by a day such as Sunday, well it should, and dats my own contribution to the growing world of 'laziness inspired abbreviations'. Who even started this whole madness sef, it's everywhere, even for serious matters like consoling the bereaved, we see things like TH, meaning Take Heart, or BS meaning Be Strong......ok, I just came up with those, but don't be surprised if it is already a thing. There are even the ones that drive me nuts, like 'k', what in God's name happened to the 'o' or even the 'ay' behind the 'k'.
• This is quite true though

And then they push guys to extents that they do this

Just to impress, na aw oh 

• Ehennnn, I recently heard a song oh, I hear it's by Justin Beiber oh, dat the name is ehnnnn.....as long as you love me. Hmmmn, Justin shouldn't come to Nigeria and be singing that song oh, imagine lines like.

'As long as you love me, we can be starving, we can be homeless, we can be broke, as long as you love, you'll be my platinum, you'll be your silver, you'll be gold.

Hmmm, I have no words to say.....we can be homeless, hmmn, brother Justin, no be so for naija oh, I'm sure dat song won't even trend in naija, here, homeless, starving and he even just summarized it all and said broke, Kai Kai, wen your mates are singing 'you MUST chop my money', you are inviting the poor babe to poverty. He didn't even make it subtle like MI and Waje. Justin, stop am if na joke oh.

I also understand the idea of introducing oneself saying 'my names are......', I feel its veryyyyyy wrong, a name (full name) consists of a 1st and last name, though different, they are still one and the same person, its just that, the more the number of names, the more specific and distinct the identification. Infact that is one of my greatest and 'hughest' (if there even a word like that) turn offs for me, what is 'my names are.....', kai #shrughs in irritation, but I think that one is even better, what in God's name is 'I am ......by name', before
Nko, are u Akpors by specie, abi are you Akpors by gender, what happened to the simple, 'my name is.....' or 'I am.....'Finish, not some yeye English
And i am sure it is one over sabi lesson teacher that started that revolution,chei, Naija my country! Only God can save us sha 


  Yours.......thoughtfully,

A.D

Common Sense is not common

Uhnnn, my dearlies, I’m so sorry, I’ve been away hustling for a new I.T placement oh, and fortunately for us it clicked, thank God.

Ehhnnn, down to today’s matter, I’m sure the topic is not really new, but really common sense is not common oh, I always heard comedians joke about it but I have never really experienced it. Some people are just agbayas, I mean some things shouldn’t be done.

I took time out to enlist some of my top annoying ones

           ´          Blowing your nose in public. I mean c’mon even from nursery school we are taught to go to the toilet and do our business, but today I still see agbayas furiously blowing their nose in an office environment and giving you that haven’t-you-seen-someone-blowing-their-nose look! Like seriously, in an office.

           ´          Answering calls with a loud voice. This is sickening, they don’t even mind that they are discussing private matters, they’ll still speak as if they are quarrelling with the person on the other line, ‘ehheen, tell Nneka to warm the bitter leaf soup oh, yesterday it was tasting sa-ward and tell the pastor about the strange dreams I’ve been having....yes, especially the spirit wife’. The funny thing is that when they see how calls are meant to be answered (in a low voice), they start asking what the person is secretive about!

           ´          Peeping or outrightly staring at another person’s screen (computer or phone). Haba, I think this is the long term result of exam malpractice, even at old age, they just have to still copy the next person, stop looking at my computer, if you want to know what I’m doing, just ask, no be exam.

           ´          Constantly disturbing when someone is in the toilet. As in you have knocked and there was an answer, and you still come back 5 seconds later and ask, are you still there…….’no, it’s the shit talking to you’, I think the idea of locks to public rooms is to show that the room is either in use or out of use. If you can’t wait, go use another, DO NOT DISTURB shikena.

           ´          Shouting private answers publicly. This should be the worst, kai, I have seen this first hand. I was at my mum’s office when this pretty ‘aunty’ walked in, greeted everyone and walked up to Mrs. ShoutALot and whispered something in the latter’s ear to which she (Mrs. ShoutALot) shook her head and then ‘aunty’ turned to leave, when she was exactly at the middle of an office filled with young men, Mrs. ShoutALot then shouted ‘Oh Simbi, I think I’ve found one, come and take the pad, Is it heavy flow’, I still feel embarrassed for that aunty, she managed to feign a smile refusing the offer while managing to walk straight to the door as all the men gave her stares that could virtually speak.

These are just a few of mine, I’ld love to hear yours

Yours…………….sensibly.

A.D