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Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Step into my head

Yes step into my head. These are just some random thoughts of mine which I think should have answers, maybe factual, maybe not.


I wonder why people think real born again Christians are all boring and the once who are funny are not serious once. Like, seriously, don’t dull it oh, I can show you Holy Ghost filled, tongues speaking, baptized in River Jordan, Born again again pips who will give basket mouth and co a run for their money…………..Pastor Lanre Oluseye I hail oh. As in sometimes I just feel these are part of the very numerous lies the devil tells, sha that one dey.

What exactly do blind people see (I mean the ones born blind)………ok I know they are BLIND, duh, but seriously, I want to know what exactly they see, white or black, bright light or crippling darkness and don’t just blurt out and say darkness, I don’t think you can teach colours with Braille!

Would be nice to know the chemical formula of pepper, we all know salt as NaCl, ‘manggi’ as spiced salt, crayfish as………duh, crayed fish, curry as anything our aboki friend mixes and has a yellow colour, suya pepper as…….errr pepper meant for suya, but with which we can make heavenly  indomie J. You can complete the list, I remember one time in Gulder Ultimate Search when serious owu was blowing in camp and the chef suggested they use curry to give the supposed egusi soup he made the desired colour! Necessity truly is the mother of invention.

I wily wily wonder who started all these yeye old wives’ tales:
          ´          That if a frog jumps over you, you’ll turn to a boy. Kai, *shakesheadinshame* I confess to falling victim to this treacherous lie, I should have been 8 or 9, but I was young and na├»ve (so don’t chop me) and we had a mini veggie garden at the backyard, it was raining season so that equaled fresh ugu which equaled veggie soup which equaled eba frequently occurring on the food timetable for the rest of the season, so we went-a-plucking, and just as I had entered the middle, I saw one of the highest leaps ever attempted by an amphibian, you know how adrenaline makes you do stuff bera, It made me see this leap in slow-mo and believe me, this should be the biggest frog ever, twas quite fat, ugly and lazy and I could almost swear that I saw it grin at me. As soon as this happened, I ran as fast and as directionless as a mad woman throwing my hands in the air in utter fear and viciously grabbing my crotch as I didn’t want to turn to a boy! You can laugh all you want, but I was terrified.
          ´          That the devil urinates in an uncovered yawning mouth……….yesso I kid you not, I heard this from a grown educated woman
          ´          That if you walk backwards, you’ll bring death and bad luck………….hmmn, but MJ was the king of the moon walk, little wonder abi, I did not say anything oh
          ´          That if you fish on a Sunday you’ll turn to a monkey……….I wonder why there aren’t monkey zoos in the Niger-Delta regarding the fact that this peeps fish day in, day out, Christmas in, Salah out.
          ´          If a man eats the head of a rat, he becomes a thief…..mhmmm; I don’t think our dear fwend from the Nat. Ass. De2 Banks ate any rat’s head oh, I did not say anything oh
          ´          If a woman dreams of being beaten by a snake she has conceived!…………………….no comment.
          ´          If a male tastes a meal from the ladle, he’ll never grow a beard……….. I’m waiting for my brother to grow up and prove this wrong.
I would want to hear silly  and random thoughts of yours or even answers to mine.

Yours…………..thoughtfully

A.D

6 comments:

  1. Very nice one......love it, you're sure doing great >>>>Dhamorla

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  2. 'this should be the biggest frog ever, twas quite fat, ugly and lazy and I could almost swear that I saw it grin at me. As soon as this happened, I ran as fast and as directionless as a mad woman throwing my hands in the air in utter fear and viciously grabbing my crotch as I didn’t want to turn to a boy!'

    This is one of the funniest thing I've ever heard or read! I'm laughing all over on my seat in my office and my colleagues are beginning to wonder if I've gone mad or something. Girl, your description is fantastic.

    Reminds me of the first time I saw a snake, I was rooted on the spot for about 15 seconds!

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  3. Yimi, yesso, trully I wonder ig anybody has actually trully changed sex cos of a frog jump!

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  4. really nice post........i love that dee2 banks part

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  5. lol. when i was younger, they used to tell us that if we 'bedwet' we would be given the urine of a gecko to drink as a cure.I guess it was just a scare to make us 'behave'..

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  6. lol, urine of a gecko, shld b in shots, lolthanks for dropping by stelzz, luvd ur blog too, quite inspiring. Drop by again

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