Regrowing the Umbilical Cord

Its a Saturday afternoon with nothing to do, Feranmi is seated at his work desk staring into space but fully aware of the location of his smart phone. The phone dings and his neck twitches, but his gaze unfazed as though he remembers.

"Guy ignore the phone"

"Addiction no be only cocaine o"

"See as your body dey shake"

"Oya stand up give me 3 reps of push ups"

Feranmi and his inner voices have condemning and uplifting conversations.

He quickly jerks up and hits the floor and while on the second rep, another ding sounds simultaneously with a ring at the door. He quickly jumps up and runs to the door muttering "Thank you Jesus" under his breath.

"Guy how far ?", its Jonathan his accountability partner/fellow phone addict/best friend

"Omoooo, this thing hard o. How did we get here? Where your own phone Jona?" Feranmi asks

"Ah, I leave am for house, I buy one small kpalasa, see am", Jonathan says as he flashes his 2-day old feature phone, "at least for calls and texts. To think that it took your niece to let grown men realize their addiction" replies Jonathan.

"Again I ask, how did we get here?" Feranmi asks as they both sink into the sofa in Feranmi's living room.

Just then a very faint ding rings, vaguely audible to the human ear but deafening to the new rehab patients. Simultaneously, they both twitch their heads, look at each other and burst into a hearty laugh.

"Why you never off that thing?"

"I don try but what of Cynthia"

"Wait, you didn't tell her? You didn't tell your fiancée that you were going on a screen fast? Even now that we're here, if she's indeed the one sending that message, are you supposed to answer abi you're now telepathic. Wow, Glory was right, your sense don reduce."

"Na your own sense reduce" retorts Feranmi

"But honestly though, you should have told her, you don't just go off on women like that, if she's anything like my sister, she go don think plenty scenarios full her head. You better call her."

Feranmi gets up to get his phone but is pulled back by Jonathan as he hands him his own phone, he dearly beloved kpalasa.

The above scene depicts the sad yet common realities of a lot of adults in todays generation. Even more sad is the fact that only very few admit to the truth of addiction to their devices. It's as though, over the years and with each 'brilliant' app launch, we weave a new umbilical cord tied to our phones.

If as adults, we become addicted to our devices, how then can we be able to help the next generation. Research has shown a plethora of information on the dangers of excessive use of smartphones, but with the debut of every 'life-changing' app, it becomes more and more of a necessary evil.

The aim of this post isn't to demonize smart phones but to highlight what the good Book says, 'Let your moderation be know to all men.'

PS...Isn't it ironic that you have to read this on a smart phone, lol. Remember however, that the same snake that bit the Israelites in the wilderness is the same that had to be molded for them to gaze upon to get their healing.

Ihunaya na Ihe (Love and Light)

Yours in recovery,

A.D

All things, for my GOOD!

 

In my little sojourn here on Abba's precious green dot, I have realized that one of the most powerful things to understand is that, there are always 2 sides to every event. Becoming a widow at 28 was one of the most powerful things that happened to me at that point and I got to understand that GRIEF is such a powerful emotion (ok, I've used powerful a lot, lol, but I hope you get the point). It plunged me into my second faith crisis. The first was plainly due to curiosity (I read some material that carried me go where I no know and I wasn't strong enough to understand the purpose or ask myself the right questions).

I was at a gathering of amazing young women a while back and someone emphatically said, 'All bad things come from the devil', while I don't necessarily disagree, my contemplation was on whether she had a fair measurement on what she labelled as bad. Let me explain with a story.

In Lagos, there are 2 very big scam statements - 

    The Island = enjoyment and 

    All weekends are lit.

While you can argue on the latter, the former is so factual that it's a sure conversation starter with any Lagosian (Try it and come and testify). The reason the Island does not emphatically equal enjoyment, asides the massive false lifestyle, is the TRAFFIC, and the exorbitant prices of EVERYTHING! Stay with me pls. On this faithful day on Fashola's Island are 2 young men, lets call them Mr A and Mr B. 

A lirru backstory - Mr A is a graduate of University of, sorry, a Federal University (before una wipe me USB), Computer Science, Second Class upper graduate, life has happened to him and he needs N9,500 to be able to enter night bus to go to PH for an interview. His dad's debtors have threatened to take his 13 year old sister as wife and needless to say that his whole family has fasted and prayed that he gets it and as a sharp guy, he believes he will. 

Mr B is a 40 year old tech bro, married to the female, (its important to specify these days 🙄) love of his life, who was diagnosed 🤦(abeg, help me put another fancy word) with PCOS, thus she medically has issues conceiving, amidst suffering depression other mental health issues because she's pushing 40 too, she miraculously conceives and is near full term (what God cannot do does not exist, I'm sorry I couldn't resist 😄).

The interview is tomorrow, Mr A has already rescheduled twice and the company has been gracious enough to indulge him twice. He rescheduled because he couldn't meet up with sales. 

Mr A is popcorn hawker on Lekki-Epe. 

Mr B's wife has been having slight pains on her right lower side and this morning, she starts bleeding and also complains of intense abdominal pain. 

Mr A specifically prayed that God created the biggest TRAFFIC Google map has ever seen so he can be able to make up his balance and make the interview. 

Mr B, while rushing his wife into the car is frantically praying he somehow maneuvers every TRAFFIC and is able to get to the hospital before his wife passes out.

Now back to you, dear reader, assuming you are able to choose, knowing fully well, the consequences of your decision, which will it be - traffic, or no traffic?

True, the Bible speaks on how all good and precious gifts come from God, but have you stopped to think that God also created the devil and is STILL letting him live because He has use for him!

After my second crisis of faith, and being painfully introverted, God sent my friends at Heaven's Gate Academy to me and used them to help me understand the weight of the statement 

GOD IS GOOD!

Realizing that like the uniqueness of saltiness to salt, God's goodness is true and pure and like the picture above, He is the only one who is able to see, I mean, truly SEE in all dimensions and do that which is, in its essence, GOOD. If Jesus' death, which was seen at the time as the greatest BAD and even celebrated in hell as victory, was in essence, the greatest GOOD ever done to man, how then, can we truly call a thing, or event, BAD?

Am I happy that my hubby left home and never came back because he died in a car accident at the junction to our house and it was hidden from me for 2 days, absolutely NOT, but I understand that God let it happen for good.

Olakunle Soriyan, my uncle (na lie o, he's someone I realllllyyyy respect and admire and would love to be mentored by him) once spoke about how he doesn't have any prayers against the devil cos they (Uncle K and devil) are both agents reporting to the same boss (but really, I'm serious about being mentored by him, if you can epp me, reach me personally here). So because he understands this, he looks for the purpose in whatever event that happens to him because there always is.

So my dearly beloved, this post don dey long, the aim of my ranting is to let you understand that nothing is really BAD, if you check am well, you just don't know the reason yet....and might never know, and that too is OK. Know this and know peace.

Peace out🤞(I didn't see the peace sign, manage this)

Yours firmly rooted in the Lord Jesus 😇

A.D

 

From a place of hurt

Not all feelings have words ascribed to them.......I'm experiencing one right now. The closest word however would be 'hopeless'. They say when life hands you lemons, you make lemonades, what if life hands you vinegar, what do you make out of them.

I was always quick to judge and criticize those chicks I saw on TV who became so helpless and hopeless when they got their hearts broken. 'My heart can never be broken', I'd say, 'it cant even be given to anyone not to talk of been broken cos it got in the wrong hands', I'd retort.

'Shut up, stupid!'. I'm sure that's what present me would be shouting to past me.
Indeed I had high walls, walls so high, even the great Chinese walls would be a joke, the ones in Jericho, LEGO.

But don't blame me, he's so skillfully, walked right in.....through the front gate! Drunk in whatever it was, I welcomed him in and locked all the doors so no one would disturb us.....Now the worst has happened and the keys are no where to be found, and these walls are so high, I cant throw him over.
The same walls I built to protect me, are the same ones fighting against me.

But no, i wont roll over and die, I'll be strong, i'll take up a new good hobby, i'll keep my head high, i'll make an awesome result, i'll turn this feeling to something good, i'll make a wine of this vinegar.


From a place of hurt and despair......your still....


A.D

The lady in the mirror

I felt u again today…..should be about 9, 10 years since our last encounter.

I thought I had gotten rid of you, but I felt you again today……..the blood rush, heart racing, wicked stammer, visible shaking of the hands, I thought I had gotten rid of you, but I felt you again today.

Merely sitting here, just thinking about it again, I can still feel my hands shaking.

I remember the last time I felt you, you earned me the name ‘slow poison’, which, by God’s mercy was erased from everyone's memory before the next term began. I was in class (this was jss3), minding my own business, and he (*Salam) walked up to me and did something.....I cant even remember what exactly it is he did or said, but I very well remember that within the next 5 mins, I was in my class matron office, on my knees for beating up a boy!

Im smiling now, buh looking back, I still don’t have a stage by stage understanding of how it all happened, all I remember was that my heart started racing, I turned pink, and trust me, this wasn't the good kind of pink, I couldn’t say a word cos I suddenly developed this wicked stammer and I suddenly felt as strong as Atlas (he’s the Greek god said to be carrying the world on his shoulders).
I didn’t actually beat him up, buh trust me, they say I could as well have, the story goes that I hurled a whole ‘locker’ at him (‘locker’ was the term used then for the seats we used in my school).

Though I was still serving punishment, I was still shaking and I couldn’t finish a sentence without opening my mouth to its limits in stutter. I stayed in her office for the whole day cos it took that long for me to kill the stuttering. The only reason I wasn’t severely dealt with was cos I had won best student in her course the previous year, and I was still her best student, plus….I think she had a crush on my dad!

Back to the present and I’m here, and just like the nine-tailed fox in Naruto, charging up, buh I’m stuck, stuck at the 7th gate, pitying the prey to be destroyed, buh then I think and I realize…..its barely 2 months to my convocation, n I couldn’t afford no scandal, besides……life is too short.
Too short for frivolities and too long to leave with the consequences of mistakes made. On everyone’s tombstone is written


‘Yadi yadiyada’
‘1900-1999’


Life is just a dash, putting someone in ‘the hospital way’ wouldn’t make the dash on my tombstone longer or fatter, it’ll still be, just a dash.

So, today I felt you again, I felt rage, but God prevailed


Yours……..ever calm

A.D