Regrowing the Umbilical Cord

Its a Saturday afternoon with nothing to do, Feranmi is seated at his work desk staring into space but fully aware of the location of his smart phone. The phone dings and his neck twitches, but his gaze unfazed as though he remembers.

"Guy ignore the phone"

"Addiction no be only cocaine o"

"See as your body dey shake"

"Oya stand up give me 3 reps of push ups"

Feranmi and his inner voices have condemning and uplifting conversations.

He quickly jerks up and hits the floor and while on the second rep, another ding sounds simultaneously with a ring at the door. He quickly jumps up and runs to the door muttering "Thank you Jesus" under his breath.

"Guy how far ?", its Jonathan his accountability partner/fellow phone addict/best friend

"Omoooo, this thing hard o. How did we get here? Where your own phone Jona?" Feranmi asks

"Ah, I leave am for house, I buy one small kpalasa, see am", Jonathan says as he flashes his 2-day old feature phone, "at least for calls and texts. To think that it took your niece to let grown men realize their addiction" replies Jonathan.

"Again I ask, how did we get here?" Feranmi asks as they both sink into the sofa in Feranmi's living room.

Just then a very faint ding rings, vaguely audible to the human ear but deafening to the new rehab patients. Simultaneously, they both twitch their heads, look at each other and burst into a hearty laugh.

"Why you never off that thing?"

"I don try but what of Cynthia"

"Wait, you didn't tell her? You didn't tell your fiancée that you were going on a screen fast? Even now that we're here, if she's indeed the one sending that message, are you supposed to answer abi you're now telepathic. Wow, Glory was right, your sense don reduce."

"Na your own sense reduce" retorts Feranmi

"But honestly though, you should have told her, you don't just go off on women like that, if she's anything like my sister, she go don think plenty scenarios full her head. You better call her."

Feranmi gets up to get his phone but is pulled back by Jonathan as he hands him his own phone, he dearly beloved kpalasa.

The above scene depicts the sad yet common realities of a lot of adults in todays generation. Even more sad is the fact that only very few admit to the truth of addiction to their devices. It's as though, over the years and with each 'brilliant' app launch, we weave a new umbilical cord tied to our phones.

If as adults, we become addicted to our devices, how then can we be able to help the next generation. Research has shown a plethora of information on the dangers of excessive use of smartphones, but with the debut of every 'life-changing' app, it becomes more and more of a necessary evil.

The aim of this post isn't to demonize smart phones but to highlight what the good Book says, 'Let your moderation be know to all men.'

PS...Isn't it ironic that you have to read this on a smart phone, lol. Remember however, that the same snake that bit the Israelites in the wilderness is the same that had to be molded for them to gaze upon to get their healing.

Ihunaya na Ihe (Love and Light)

Yours in recovery,

A.D

All things, for my GOOD!

 

In my little sojourn here on Abba's precious green dot, I have realized that one of the most powerful things to understand is that, there are always 2 sides to every event. Becoming a widow at 28 was one of the most powerful things that happened to me at that point and I got to understand that GRIEF is such a powerful emotion (ok, I've used powerful a lot, lol, but I hope you get the point). It plunged me into my second faith crisis. The first was plainly due to curiosity (I read some material that carried me go where I no know and I wasn't strong enough to understand the purpose or ask myself the right questions).

I was at a gathering of amazing young women a while back and someone emphatically said, 'All bad things come from the devil', while I don't necessarily disagree, my contemplation was on whether she had a fair measurement on what she labelled as bad. Let me explain with a story.

In Lagos, there are 2 very big scam statements - 

    The Island = enjoyment and 

    All weekends are lit.

While you can argue on the latter, the former is so factual that it's a sure conversation starter with any Lagosian (Try it and come and testify). The reason the Island does not emphatically equal enjoyment, asides the massive false lifestyle, is the TRAFFIC, and the exorbitant prices of EVERYTHING! Stay with me pls. On this faithful day on Fashola's Island are 2 young men, lets call them Mr A and Mr B. 

A lirru backstory - Mr A is a graduate of University of, sorry, a Federal University (before una wipe me USB), Computer Science, Second Class upper graduate, life has happened to him and he needs N9,500 to be able to enter night bus to go to PH for an interview. His dad's debtors have threatened to take his 13 year old sister as wife and needless to say that his whole family has fasted and prayed that he gets it and as a sharp guy, he believes he will. 

Mr B is a 40 year old tech bro, married to the female, (its important to specify these days 🙄) love of his life, who was diagnosed 🤦(abeg, help me put another fancy word) with PCOS, thus she medically has issues conceiving, amidst suffering depression other mental health issues because she's pushing 40 too, she miraculously conceives and is near full term (what God cannot do does not exist, I'm sorry I couldn't resist 😄).

The interview is tomorrow, Mr A has already rescheduled twice and the company has been gracious enough to indulge him twice. He rescheduled because he couldn't meet up with sales. 

Mr A is popcorn hawker on Lekki-Epe. 

Mr B's wife has been having slight pains on her right lower side and this morning, she starts bleeding and also complains of intense abdominal pain. 

Mr A specifically prayed that God created the biggest TRAFFIC Google map has ever seen so he can be able to make up his balance and make the interview. 

Mr B, while rushing his wife into the car is frantically praying he somehow maneuvers every TRAFFIC and is able to get to the hospital before his wife passes out.

Now back to you, dear reader, assuming you are able to choose, knowing fully well, the consequences of your decision, which will it be - traffic, or no traffic?

True, the Bible speaks on how all good and precious gifts come from God, but have you stopped to think that God also created the devil and is STILL letting him live because He has use for him!

After my second crisis of faith, and being painfully introverted, God sent my friends at Heaven's Gate Academy to me and used them to help me understand the weight of the statement 

GOD IS GOOD!

Realizing that like the uniqueness of saltiness to salt, God's goodness is true and pure and like the picture above, He is the only one who is able to see, I mean, truly SEE in all dimensions and do that which is, in its essence, GOOD. If Jesus' death, which was seen at the time as the greatest BAD and even celebrated in hell as victory, was in essence, the greatest GOOD ever done to man, how then, can we truly call a thing, or event, BAD?

Am I happy that my hubby left home and never came back because he died in a car accident at the junction to our house and it was hidden from me for 2 days, absolutely NOT, but I understand that God let it happen for good.

Olakunle Soriyan, my uncle (na lie o, he's someone I realllllyyyy respect and admire and would love to be mentored by him) once spoke about how he doesn't have any prayers against the devil cos they (Uncle K and devil) are both agents reporting to the same boss (but really, I'm serious about being mentored by him, if you can epp me, reach me personally here). So because he understands this, he looks for the purpose in whatever event that happens to him because there always is.

So my dearly beloved, this post don dey long, the aim of my ranting is to let you understand that nothing is really BAD, if you check am well, you just don't know the reason yet....and might never know, and that too is OK. Know this and know peace.

Peace out🤞(I didn't see the peace sign, manage this)

Yours firmly rooted in the Lord Jesus 😇

A.D

 

Nigeria......by a Nigerian

Corruption, Internet scam, Boko Haram, Failed governments, Kidnapping, all these, I’m sure are things that immediately come to mind at the mention of Nigeria, but let me tell you about Nigeria, my country, the land of great intellectuals and heroes.

See Emmanuel Ohuabunwa, a 22 year-old Nigerian who has made history at John Hopkins University, United States of America.

Emmanuel, who hails from Abia State was adjudged as having the highest honors during the graduation that was held on May 24 this year. He made a Grade Point Average of 3.98 out of 4.0 to bag a degree in Neurosciences in the University. For his efforts, he has won a scholarship to Yale University to pursue a degree in Medicine. Besides, he has been inducted into Phi Beta Kappa Society, a prestigious honour group that features membership of 17 US Presidents, 37 US Supreme Court Justices, and 136 Nobel Prize winners.

We can also look at 9-year old Basil Okpara today, at just 9 years-old, Okpara, from Lagos, Nigeria, has built over 30 mobile games, according to a report by the CNN.

At the time of filing this report, the young tech genius was building a hide and seek game, using a free programming application called Scratch 2. It enables users to create games, animations, and stories online or offline. It is through this application that Basil has built his mobile games. After showing interest in learning how to make his own games, Basil’s father bought him a laptop and registered him to learn the basics of building games.
“I learned how to build games at a boot camp. Now, I build to keep me busy when I am bored,” Basil told CNN.

Still think we're a shithole?

What about Nji Collins Abah Nji Collins Gbah of Cameroon has become the first African to win the prestigious Google Code-In-competition.
Google Code-in is an annual programming competition hosted by Google Inc. It is open to all pre-university students aged between 13 to 17 with parental consent. The contest was originally called the “Google Highly Open Participation Contest,” but in 2010, the competition was modified to its current format. Gbah is one of the more than 1,300 young people from 62 countries who took part in the 2016 Google contest, where participants complete 20 tasks split into five different categories.

Lets talk no further, come on over and see Nigeria for yourself.

RHEMA

Scientists have, over the last century, recently discovered that asides gravity, there is something else, stronger, ancient and very mysterious that holds the entire universe together and to show how little their understanding of this mystery is, they are simply calling it DARK MATTER!

Now, dark matter is even believed to be the ‘matter’ from which the universe was made. It is said to be the shaping fabric found everywhere in space. They describe it as clouds and clusters of deep darkness, an ocean of tangible darkness (dark matter), that exploded to give light in the big bang theory; scientists version of the creation of the universe.

This, to scientist is one of the mind blowing discoveries of the century…………I say they are over two thousand years behind! This has ALWAYS been there in the Bible for all to see. Right there in John’s gospel [John 1:1]

It has always been there, explicitly explained:

‘In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, now the earth was formless and empty, DARKNESS was over the face of the DEEP, and the spirit of GOD was hovering over the WATERS’... [Gen 1:1-2 (NIV)]

It has always been there for us. DARK MATTER = FORMLESS EMPTY DARKNESS

Isn’t God just amazing! The Bible is not just a story book. Start studying the Bible like your life depended on it, because it does, loads of revelations abound. 

Yours...............

Nah this isn't mine, this is Gods', this is Rhema!

A.D

Becoming Mrs…….

Yes, in a couple of days, I’ll be Mrs somebody, and the planning has been #@$%#$%. Jeeeeeeezzz, there’re so many things needed to be done nowadays, you have to;

• have a bridal shower, 
• have asoebi, 
• create hashtag, 
• do pre-wedding shoot, 
• task your bridesmaids and collect ya moni, 
• have committee of friends and task them too, 
• buy wedding gown, 
• rent hall (with prices looking like house rent) and 
• ontop of everything, you still have to arrange for transportation and accommodation for your guests. For heaven’s sake, I don’t think the couple of the wedding at Cana, in the Bible, organized bus for Jesus and his mama, they found their way na.

Everyone sees an intending couple as an avenue to make quick money, the annoying part is that phrase, ‘it’s a once in a lifetime event oh, so do it well’. Of course I want to do it well, but then do I really need bridal shower, do I need pre-wedding video, do I need to take lessons to do dramatic entrance biko, whatever happened to dancing in joyouslywith your hubby. I don’t think my mum had bridal shower and she and my dad are still loving up like teenagers. The pressure in this wedding business is out of this world, chineke! First, they pressure you to marry, ok, ekenedilichikwu, you find man to marry, then they pressure you on things to do for the wedding, and Bella and all those annoying blogs aren’t even helping matters.


Why can’t we just elope and go to a church and be blessed and continue life…………ok I think I’m just venting, I can never elope, not if I’m still my mother’s daughter, because she will pray my plans to scatter and pray me back home! Sounds like jazz, but trust me, its pure and unadulterated prayer. My mum is one of those people that can pray NEPA to bring back the light and, Voila! Yope, I have one of those literal prayer warrior mothers.


Ok, maybe I’m just angry at how much weddings cost these days, no wonder men want to be millionaires before they even start thinking marriage. Everything costs money, even in church, you pay, and the nonsense dollar, abi oil, has affected everything, even tin tomatoes is not as red as it used to be sef, jollof rice in parties these days are looking more and more confused. I’ve come to realize, that those marrying in this economy really love each other. In fact, I won’t be surprised if there are men pegging their marriage to a $100/barrel economy and to those ones I say, wehdone sirs!


Inshort, I’m tired, we’ll share the food and collect gifts right after church, we’ll save the house rent, sorry, hall rent money and payment for DJ and MC and, YESSS save the souvenir sharing episode, y’all don’t need souvenirs to know we are married, the child naming in 9 months should clear all doubts.


Yours…………in transition (like metamorphosis into a wife, not obituary biko)



A.D

Lord of the Rings

Growing old does a lot of things to you, I viewed events that happened quite differently than I would have just last year. One of the things I noticed is that, mehn, girls dey hustle. Not even money hustle, ring hustle, its like having a real Lord of the Rings contest. An engagement ring is somewhat valued even above a marriage ring.

Like I told a friend of mine, if only ladies knew thet true role of wives, that they are the foundation of a home, they pray more tham priests and sleep less than guards. If only someone told them, maybe we would reduce the statistics of broken homes, especially among Christians (of which that word has lost its potency, thats gist for another day). Wives grow to become mothers, who raise children who are meant to be properly raised to avoid this generation of men with committment phobia and truck load of baggage.

Im not married.....yet, but as a good observer and from experience, I think Ive leant a few things i'll love to share with y'all.

There are quite a few but the one I'ld love to share this important one. Ladies, NOT ALL SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD LEAD TO MARRIAGE I write in upper case for very serious emphasis. Lot of times, you realise that the seriousness of the said relationship is all your (the lady) effort. I've come to realize that when a lady demands committment and succeeds in getting it, its rarely stable, but when its the lad who shows the committment and who is the serious one, its lasts (because, the woman's committment is almost sure when she sees that her man is serious).
A wise man once told me, even in the Bible, what God requested from the womenfolk in marriage is respect for the man not love. Please dont get me wrong, love is the bedrock of the relationship but for marriage, its respect for the man not just love. When the man loves you, its vital. Thats why God himself requests love from the man cos He knows mans make-up. A friend once told me, babe, 'a woman shouldn't marry the man she  loves the most, but should marry the man who loves her most'
Women love easily, its our genetic make up, thats even why sometimes we see ladies fall in love with the guy who raped them! Weird but true.

I know sometimes its difficult not to imagine marriage with the level of seriousness, I mean, you might even have his mum on bbm, you might even have his engagement ring, but in the mist of all these, we shouldnt loose sight of the red lights and negative signs, dating or courtship period is the only time we have the power over a relationship, once you say 'I do', omo steering don change hand o.

That you guys are serious doesnt mean, y'all are altar bound. Some relationships are just there to groom you for the real deal. Sometimes, the girl endures all the crap the guy displays so she can endure the bullshit in marriage with her real guy. Sometimes the guy learn to tolerate all the nonsense the lass dishes so he can truly tolerate his real wifey's real mess up.

That you've been together for 5, 6 or even 8 years doesnt mean, he must marry you, come to think of it, the rest of your life is quite a long time compared to 8 years.

Not all serious relationship should lead to the altar. Better a broken relationship than a broken marriage. My two shillings.
Shine ya eye ladies.

Yours..........

A.D

What Women Want Revealed.....Honestly o

BREAKING NEWS; After crossing seven galaxies and seven dimensions, the true summary of 'what women want is finally here'. At no extra cost, what women want in 3 words, Attention, Affection, Appreciation....




I know it will not make sense if I just barge in here and start blabbing when I've left you guys hanging for over a year, My darlings, abeg *kneeling down with both hands raised and eyes closed* forgive me biko.

You know life is very one kain, lol. Ive actually missed you guys, I'm running one kain M.Sc like that ehnnn, exams every blessed week! No jokes *straight face*


Ehennn, back to the crux of the matter, I posted the above on my Facebook wall and got some responses, some very interesting responses, but I still believe that Attention, Affection, and Appreciation are the best summary of what a woman wants that men can ever get.


Maybe a little explanation will help you agree.

Attention.....Do I even need to explain this one, every guy knows that the number one thing women strive for is attention,evidence is clearly seen in the booming, so called human hair and fake buttocks industry, but God is trying sha, watching all these and granting second chances. Some guys even have extra understanding in this area and reverse it to their advantage, Lemme show you.

Titi, Sola and Bisi are close friends with 'attractiveness coeff' (this is the result of too much book) of 4, 6 and 8, in that order, and along comes Dave, Tall, Dark, Handsome and might I add Rich, lol, for our vast category of readers, with eyes (seemingly) only for Titi, making Bisi who's quite a stunner, wonder what the problem is....and no we are assuming, no Jazz is involved. So when Dave is sure he has Bisi's attention, it will only take one (probably lousy) attempt for her to agree.....chai, women have suffered!

I see some of you didn't even know this.....Oya pay up.

Attention is in listening to her, being there for her, even attention to the way she wants to be loved, what I consider love might be insignificant or even freaky to another and vice versa.


Affection....has caused me quite a few heart cracks *sad face* and should not be confused with Attention, ladies, that he's always nice to you doesn't mean that he loves you, you could be an option when he's bored. My opinion. Actions speak louder than words, but words confirms and consolidates actions. There's nothing sexier than a man who loves a woman and knows how she loves to be loved and isn't afraid to show let the world see that he loves her. Affection is quite crucial. If she wants PDA, biko show it to her, If she loves pet names, give her exotic ones, if she like them both, shower them on her, she'll truly love you for that.


Appreciation.....most guys actually don't get this. Wikipedia defines it thus 'recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something', that she's a good cook, doesn't mean that she was brought to the world for your endless supply of banga soup and starch. Appreciate her even though I know you feel it's her duty (man matter tire me sha, you never marry am o, but she don already get 'duty'). In all, appreciate her and she will naturally respect you, naturally.


Diligent follow through of the A.D's triple A rule will make sure your woman isn't a bother but a blessing.


Note o: This theory was compounded with the following Assumptions

1) No jazz is involved, whether by red and yellow wearing priest or red and bare bodied baba. No juju.

2) Y'all have have gone past the money wahala. The lass has accepted your economic conditions.

3) You are not a mama's boy (if you aren't sure you aren't, then you are!)


Yours.......always a blessing



A.D

From a place of hurt

Not all feelings have words ascribed to them.......I'm experiencing one right now. The closest word however would be 'hopeless'. They say when life hands you lemons, you make lemonades, what if life hands you vinegar, what do you make out of them.

I was always quick to judge and criticize those chicks I saw on TV who became so helpless and hopeless when they got their hearts broken. 'My heart can never be broken', I'd say, 'it cant even be given to anyone not to talk of been broken cos it got in the wrong hands', I'd retort.

'Shut up, stupid!'. I'm sure that's what present me would be shouting to past me.
Indeed I had high walls, walls so high, even the great Chinese walls would be a joke, the ones in Jericho, LEGO.

But don't blame me, he's so skillfully, walked right in.....through the front gate! Drunk in whatever it was, I welcomed him in and locked all the doors so no one would disturb us.....Now the worst has happened and the keys are no where to be found, and these walls are so high, I cant throw him over.
The same walls I built to protect me, are the same ones fighting against me.

But no, i wont roll over and die, I'll be strong, i'll take up a new good hobby, i'll keep my head high, i'll make an awesome result, i'll turn this feeling to something good, i'll make a wine of this vinegar.


From a place of hurt and despair......your still....


A.D

Number 2

Here I am, surrounded by all these great people; fashion tycoons, talk show giants, philanthropist, photography icons, TV giants, Tech Whiz, everybody here has a dream, a vision, one burning desire or the other, they are all talking about passion and purpose. I know I have one of those too, I’m know im special too, but I can’t seem to lay my hands on it, maybe I wasn’t meant to have one, maybe we all aren’t meant to have a passion….But the preacher said God made everyone for something, that we all have a purpose and we should find it in order to start living.

…..Well Preacher man, I’ve been searching a long long time for mine, gotten frustrated, seems I’ve got the proverbial hand of Midas I’m frustratingly good at everything I set out to do: Fine arts, Writing, Modeling, Speaking, Music…hold up, I haven’t tried music, maybe my passion is in music……but what if its not, what if its just a hobby just like the others, what if im just meant to lead the bathroom all stars choir like every other aspirant like me *fist bump in the air*

Been thinking a lot lately and Ive realized something, the preacher man lied.

Yeah I said it, they all lied, we cant all be number one, we cant all be ‘bests’, if we r all billionaires, who will work for us, if no one will do 9-5 jobs (which in reality is 7:30am-6pm or 7pm depending on the distance to your house) then who will work for the visionaries, If everyone wants to be 2baba, who will buy his CDs, If everyone wants to be Mark Zucherberg, who will use Facebook?

I might not be the number 1 artist or writer/blogger or speaker, but I know one thing that’s the only thing that can pass for a burning desire and passion, I know I love to help others get to be number 1, maybe that’s the almighty calling on my life, to help people achieve their dreams, to lend my shoulders to others to climb, to be the number 2 in the background, the Bartholomew among the disciples of Jesus, the Gail to Oprah,

It will be tough I know, backstage isn’t full of camera and lights, no one is really interested in what goes on there….ok, maybe just a few, but Its ok, I find fulfillment being the one who smacks your head and tells you ‘yes you can’

So in the mean time, Imma go try out music outside the bathroom *wink*

Your number 1 fan,

A.D