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Friday, 4 May 2012

The lady in the mirror

I felt u again today…..should be about 9, 10 years since our last encounter.

I thought I had gotten rid of you, but I felt you again today……..the blood rush, heart racing, wicked stammer, visible shaking of the hands, I thought I had gotten rid of you, but I felt you again today.

Merely sitting here, just thinking about it again, I can still feel my hands shaking.

I remember the last time I felt you, you earned me the name ‘slow poison’, which, by God’s mercy was erased from everyone's memory before the next term began. I was in class (this was jss3), minding my own business, and he (*Salam) walked up to me and did something.....I cant even remember what exactly it is he did or said, but I very well remember that within the next 5 mins, I was in my class matron office, on my knees for beating up a boy!

Im smiling now, buh looking back, I still don’t have a stage by stage understanding of how it all happened, all I remember was that my heart started racing, I turned pink, and trust me, this wasn't the good kind of pink, I couldn’t say a word cos I suddenly developed this wicked stammer and I suddenly felt as strong as Atlas (he’s the Greek god said to be carrying the world on his shoulders).
I didn’t actually beat him up, buh trust me, they say I could as well have, the story goes that I hurled a whole ‘locker’ at him (‘locker’ was the term used then for the seats we used in my school).

Though I was still serving punishment, I was still shaking and I couldn’t finish a sentence without opening my mouth to its limits in stutter. I stayed in her office for the whole day cos it took that long for me to kill the stuttering. The only reason I wasn’t severely dealt with was cos I had won best student in her course the previous year, and I was still her best student, plus….I think she had a crush on my dad!

Back to the present and I’m here, and just like the nine-tailed fox in Naruto, charging up, buh I’m stuck, stuck at the 7th gate, pitying the prey to be destroyed, buh then I think and I realize…..its barely 2 months to my convocation, n I couldn’t afford no scandal, besides……life is too short.
Too short for frivolities and too long to leave with the consequences of mistakes made. On everyone’s tombstone is written

‘Yadi yadiyada’

Life is just a dash, putting someone in ‘the hospital way’ wouldn’t make the dash on my tombstone longer or fatter, it’ll still be, just a dash.

So, today I felt you again, I felt rage, but God prevailed

Yours……..ever calm



  1. Hey there! just tagged you in the "11 question tag", View

  2. Hmmm....I used to have that rage, but thank God, it's been yonks since I last felt it.

  3. Yea, thank God by His grace that should be the last. Thanks for passing by Myne.